An Ugly Truth About Moving Away

Hopefully, we all grow up dreaming.

In elementary school, my best friend Nicole and I used to daydream for hours at a time about where we’d end up in life. Surrounded by cornfields in small town Indiana, we used to fantasize about big cities, beaches, and endless sleepovers. So much so, that when my mom was helping Dylan and I pack for our move to Nashville, we found an entire notebook dedicated to Malibu, complete with print outs of condos and emails I had sent, asking the realators to hold them until Nicole and I were old enough to move.

There is something so absolutely wonderful about dreaming, running through endless possibilities and innocent “what if’s?”. I’m sure we can all laugh at how simple we thought life would be. And we have no choice but to laugh at the thought that chasing our dreams wouldn’t cost us anything.

We wouldn’t change our move for the world and we cannot wait to see what else Nashville has for us. But there are some things about moving that people don’t always want to talk about. Things you’re not going to see on Instagram or hear about when they visit for the holidays. There are a few ugly truths and one surprising one, is loneliness.

So many of you are probably like “Um, what? How can you be lonely? You’re newlyweds!” Well let’s unpack that a little bit. Of course Dylan and I are in love and loving the life we’re building together. In fact, moving has made us depend on each other in ways we didn’t expect and it’s been incredible.

When you’re a kid on the playground, you can befriend anyone. Share a swing or a jump rope, and you’re friends forever. But making friends as an adult is weird, honestly. And that much harder when you know you have people who know your heart and know you, they’re just farther away. Of course there are so many different sides to this. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing you have amazing people that care about you, no matter where you are. It makes looking forward to visits that much more fun and weekend trips become the highlight of your month.

We have made incredible friends here in Nashville and we can’t wait to make more as we continue to settle in, but there are things that dreaming can cost you. Call it growing up, life, or whatever else, dreaming isn’t always as simple as it seems, I mean, duh. I think too often we make a major decision or move to follow our dreams and we’re so scared of being vulnerable when sharing how it’s actually going or what it actually feels like. No one loves failure and we don’t want anyone to think we’re doing anything but winning. So of course we’re not going to share the good, the bad, and the ugly. We’re only going to share the great things and the “pretty” things all over our Instagram and catch-up coffee dates. And yes, there are some really cool things that come along with moving and chasing a dream. It’s been a blast and we’re continuing to learn so much about ourselves, each other, and the world around us.

All of this to say, dreaming is incredible. Following your dreams is also incredible but it’s also scary, challenging, and sometimes lonely. So keep encouraging one another. Without the support and encouragement from our families, the incredible friend group I’ve maintained since high school, the life long friends we made in college, and everyone that’s helped Nashville feel like home, I can’t imagine how we’d be feeling. Friends are important. Family is important. Encourage your friends who have ideas and have decided to actualize them. Have grace when life gets in the way and they can’t call you back that week and please don’t ever think that they’ve forgotten you. You mean so much more to them than you know.

 

 

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