Part of Me is like…Really Ugly.

I’m a Christian, I promise. But I am cynical sometimes. I have genuine faith and joy in the Lord, but part of me is still very ugly.

I love listening and learning from others. In fact, I believe that’s the only way to create lasting change. I know that I have almost an entirely different set of beliefs than I did when I was in high school, and I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for the people who took the time to invest in me and show me broader perspectives. But there are a few people presenting their ideas that I’m having a hard time believing.

I write from a faith perspective, because I am a Christian, but this is not a Christian blog. I will probably rarely share a verse or biblical story, just because that’s not who I am. But I have started to notice a trend that I’m not into. There are so many “nice girl” blogs that use faith as an excuse to do nothing, to stand for nothing, to speak out against nothing. In fact, I’ve seen so many posts flood the internet where young girls and women pull every “feel good” verse they can to make themselves feel better about doing nothing or standing by injustice. Frankly, I think that’s all bullshit. It’s dishonest and I think people sense that. I believe faith calls us to take action. To speak up for things we believe in and speak out against injustices. I’m so frustrated with bloggers who speak out against feminism or other issues because they’re afraid. Afraid of the label. Afraid of the scrutiny or judgement from their church friends or family. Instead of working to redeem or understand certain principals, people use their faith as an excuse to not invest in understanding others. It is not meant to be a feel good fuzzy blanket that keeps you warm, safe inside your house. It’s actually the tool and motivation to get up and do something to make this world a better place for others, regardless of how uncomfortable you are.

Now, here’s the ugly part. Well I mean, you just saw some of it. But I have such a hard time offering any sort of grace to the authors of those posts. I know I should. I know better. I mean, I just admitted to you that I believe change does not come suddenly, but gradually and through relationships with those who have differing outlooks and perspectives (It’s important to note here that I also don’t believe in befriending someone because you think you can change them). I’m working on it ya’ll. I really am. I know that there is genuine joy found in my faith. But I do not believe my faith is an excuse for inaction. Writing this and I feel almost hypocritical. I believe these things about asking questions and yet, I have such a passionate distaste for posts like the ones I just discussed. Maybe because I came from a place like that and experienced lots of big changes in my understanding of the world?

I wanted to share this with you for so many reasons. First to simply be honest with you about how I’m feeling. But also for those of you who look at Christians roll your eyes because you only see posts like that, I wanted you to know that those aren’t the only Christian girls that exist. For those of you who write those posts, to know that I really do want to understand your perspective more. And to simply encourage all of you to ask questions, to be genuinely curious and seek understanding. To not be so afraid of labels. Instead of running from them, why not own them and redeem them? Why not challenge the preconceived notions those church friends and family may have about certain labels? Basically, don’t mask your fear with faith. I know not everyone is going to be in the streets protesting, but seek and learn! Get to know those that are different from you! We’re not called to be lukewarm, ya’ll. That’s all. Happy Wednesday.


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